Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Marie Claire article on white trash donut loving deserter

"Why I Went AWOL"

Some snippets:

The possibility of running away didn't occur to Kim at that point. But it did to her husband, Mario. He retreated to his computer, his usual hideout in times of stress.

He must be a real piece of work. Retreated back into his world of WOW?

Kim met Mario as a teen at the Wal-Mart, where they both worked. They'd dreamed of a future with educations and real careers, but Kim became pregnant at 20, and another baby quickly followed. She and Mario lived with Kim's parents, whose dislike of Mario made the situation unbearable.

Was he the greeter or the fat ass in electronics? I'm sure her parents loved taking them in after he knocked her up and then managed to knock her up a 2nd time living off of her parents.

Kim and Mario got married, and she saw the military as her only option. Becoming a soldier would mean a steady income, benefits, a roof over their heads.

Got married after the 2nd child or when?

"Mario wanted to go instead of me," she says, but both were overweight, and Kim thought she would be able to shed the necessary pounds more quickly.

Holy fuck what a man.

The $8,000 signing bonus seemed like a fortune. Kim bought a tan sofa and chair ("microfiber suede,"

Good job on pissing away that $8k there Kim. How much did you budget for jelly donuts?

Today in Toronto, Kim, who is due to give birth this month to her third child, works a night shift in a bakery, thanks to a temporary work permit.

You live in a subsidized shoe box and you have yet another child?

Mario works at a McDonald's during the day.

You want fries with that? Seriously is anyone surprised at this point?

During my visit, Kim kisses Mario, a lumbering teddy bear of a guy, three times before leaving the apartment

Or maybe a sloth?

Later, she hurries down the street on her way to a favorite doughnut shop that reminds her of one back home in Texas.

Speaking of jelly donuts.

A homeless woman approaches and asks for change. "Sorry, dear," Kim apologizes, offering directions to a government-run food pantry instead. It's been a while since Kim has had to get groceries at the pantry herself

So Canada supplies your housing and your food at times?

She still keeps her fatigues, which she wears sometimes for antiwar rallies,

I would like to see her squeeze that fat ass into them.

That evening over a take-out dinner, Kim's kindergartner, Christian, suddenly puts down his pizza to announce, "My mommy was a soldier. She had to make a choice: Go home or die." Kim freezes midbite, her eyes widening. Christian prattles on. "She chose to come home to her family. She didn't want to die. Her job was guarding the gate. Now someone else does it."

I am sure our soldiers are thankful every day that her ignorant ass is not responsible for their perimeter security.

Mario tentatively opens the door. The stranger hands him a boxful of donated toys for the kids — gifts from a local charity.

I am so glad these ignorant fat ass over breeding losers are now suckling on the government teat of Canada instead of ours. I'm sure her family is very proud and her COC is glad to see her gone as well.

Funny thing is I have seen Marie Claire on the shelf and I am pretty sure Kim here couldn't wedge that flabby ass of hers into anything they feature on the cover so why are they wasting ink on this white trash deserter?

All I could think about reading this steaming pile of shit was:


Thus Spake Ortner said...

OK, minus the picking on WoW, hilarious.
What a waste these two are. I hope they stay in Canada.

Xul said...

"So Canada supplies your housing and your food at times?"

And delivers clean needles to you if you are a junkie, as well. Canada is a good place for those two sorry-asses.

Jason said...

Yes they are certainly enjoying the Canadian socialist utopia.

I suppose up there you can live in a non military fantasy land when you are protected by a super power to the south.