Monday, October 10, 2005

You call that a steak?

You know every time I attempt to get a steak in a restaurant somebody has to dick it up. Tumbleweed seems to go above and beyond to screw up my meal. About six months ago I went with the wife and some friends for a meal. I really wanted a steak so I went all out and ordered the "TEXAS T-BONE (18 oz. PORTERHOUSE)". When the girl brought it out as soon as it hit the table I knew I had been screwed. So I said to the clueless girl "This is not a porterhouse.". I even tried to explain to the girl what makes a porterhouse different from a T-bone. If you don't know try this T-Bone and Porterhouse . I was nice I think. So the girl scurries off to the kitchen and comes back to report that the cook said its a Porterhouse. Okay I just explained to your dumbass what the difference is and you could clearly see that this particular piece of meat is missing some parts. So I tell the girl (still nicely) that used to work in a grocery particularly the butcher shop so I think I know my way around cow parts. Eric is getting amused now cause its dinner and a show.Away she goes so I cut into the overpriced piece of meat and low and behold the damn cook comes out dirty apron and all. Guy doesn't look like he knows his way around a Big Mac much less complicated cow parts. The cook informs me that yes indeed this is a porterhouse, so I explain to clueless idiot number 2 what makes a porterhouse. Having enough sense to realize in a battle of wits that he is unarmed he concedes, "This is what Tumbleweed calls a porterhouse". Well bubba that’s what is known as false advertising. Hells why not just totally screw me over and bring me a chopped steak. At this point Eric is getting pretty tickled.At this point you would think the waitress would realize I am not happy and the least she could do is keep my glass filled up. I have after all so far been nice but oh hell no the girl must have gone to lunch or something. So now as they always do the manager comes by to ask how it was even though its too late to do anything about it. The wife is shaking her head at me and mouthing no but we are in it this deep its round 3 baby. So I tell what I told nimrod 1 and 2. Suddenly here is the cook again saying he did indeed cook me a Porterhouse. Well thanks for your expert testimony fuckstick. Eric is now choking on something but I am too busy to help, can't you see I am giving an in-service! Asked what she can do to make it right I tell her she could charge me for a T-bone since that’s what they served me. "Gosh we don't have a regular T-bone on the menu".... of course you don't.... so you she knocked some off the price of my steak and finally we can get the hell out of here.

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